You are allowed to actually listen to your children, no they are not going to grow up to be dictators, because listening to them does not mean giving into them. Its quite a tough one, according to an article in the Huffington Post “ Children are not perceived as real people with real needs, their pinions don’t matter as much as our so they are belittled and ignored. “ take a moment to think what kind of adult that will raise?
Now before you panic and go buy out Toys R Us to make your babies feel better there are ways to listen to them and to take note of what they say. Always remember that they are people they have feelings and emotions and we have been given the beautiful job of helping them to learn and develop and grow into remarkable adults.
No matter how “silly” the issue may be, in their little lives that issue could be their version of a life or death situation!
So, here are some ways to listen to your children.
1)Stop what you are doing and look them in the eye, go and sit on the bed or in the lounge or take them for a walk in the garden give them your attention. Vaughn, my eldest and I have hot chocolate dates in the evenings where we sit on the couch and discuss him and his day and his life. Ask a few leading questions to get them going.
2)You could even have scheduled dates if you would like to make them feel really important, but just making that 5 or 10 minutes to actually give them your undivided attention is absolute GOLD!
3)Really listen to them, don’t tease them, don’t laugh (it is hard sometimes, and or unless they are telling you a joke then laugh, even if it isn’t that funny) use eye contact facial expression, mirror them sometimes.
4)Then give them the words to help them express what they are feeling, sad, could meant angry frustrated irritated hurt left out ignored, by helping give them the words, they feel heard and it also increases and develops their emotional intelligence.
5)And then lastly, if you can, help them come up with a solution, if it is an issue. Or give them huge squishy hug and laugh with them telling them how amazing and awesome they are ( they have to be they are a piece of you after all)
Something that I find so incredible, I am learning all sort just from listening to my boys, by having those chit chat small talk conversations. And to say that I love it is an understatement of epic proportions.
Go have a chat with your child. And don’t forget the hug, never forget the hug.
See you next week and I would love to hear how the week of listening worked out for you?