​I hate guilt, I hate that sick hole that burns right in the middle of your being and you know you should do something about it bus you just don’t know what that something is.
Every day I had to go to work and leave my children with my parents because they were sick, it would eat me from the inside not being able to take them to the doctor, or to have the freedom to attend the sports matches and or sports days….. I hated it.
 
It all needed to change, I had to find a way to be a mother who could be a mother, it was not my boys choice to be in this world, it was not their fault or their decision that their father and I realised that divorce was the only option, so my decision and my goal was and is to be their mother in every possible way that I can.   And that means, being here when they are sick, having the freedom and ability to take them to the doctor.   Being at their sports matches and even being available to sit with them through homework.
 
And now after years and hour upon hour of studying and working and thinking, planning dreaming, working through business programs the opportunity presented itself and now, I am a very proud mom and business women.
 
Now, I schedule my time, and I can do it around my boys, and it feels so incredibly good.  No more of that revolting guilt that literally used to cripple me!
 
And, now, part of my goal starting 2 weeks ago with planning, is to help other moms who find themselves in the same position, to help with create the life they want for themselves and their children.  I can’t think of anything better, a group of likeminded women with their own ambitions and desires working together for themselves, creating unity and team.  Tapping into that fierce drive that comes from being a mom and channelling it, developing it and growing women into the sensational strong gorgeous creations that they were born to be. 
 
I would love to hear from you, so if you have questions or comments, please feel free to email them to me through the contact sheet below. Or leave your comments, I want mothers to soar!

​YOUR SCHOOL CAREER IS OVER
YOU ARE FREE
 
It is your time to grab life by the horns and live, take your 14 Years of books and uniforms and learning and push it all into who you want to be
 
How does that feel?  Is it scary? Exciting? 
Do you know what you want to be, now that you have grown up?
Or is it all about testing and playing and trying?
 
And your friends,
Are they going with you on your new adventure or do you have to say temporary goodbyes as you head off to your different colleges or new careers.
I am just thinking wouldn’t it be incredible to have a big girls day event with your girls? Have a day where you all get together, have hair and makeup done, style yourselves up and have images take where you will then have this incredible artwork and album that you can take with you keep with you forever
 
Think of the reunion parties where you will be sipping on wine and killing yourself laughing about that crazy first boyfriend of the crush you had on that dreamy boy who is now, well far from dreamy…. Lucky you dodged that bullet.
 
How amazing would a day like that be?
 
Now is the time to get your girls together and book it, what a divine way to celebrate the end of exams…. Wouldn’t you say?

​I have a question,
 
What do you do to find that little bit of inner peace, that little bit of quiet where you can calm your mind and let the inner you breathe?
 
What is your happy place?  I mean the amount of times I just wish I could RUN AWAY!  Even this morning I am trying to edit and work and the silly computer is just not playing the game!  So what did I do to ensure I didn’t give in to the inner little devil and throw something!!!!
 
I saw my camera……… the bag is open because I have been charging batteries etc for today’s model portfolio session I can’t wait for that actually, it is going to really be a brand new experience.  Back to my point, yes, I saw my camera and grabbed the makro lens and stepped outside, still in my fabulous PJ’s and I took a huge freaking breath! 
 
Now picture it and don’t try to laugh, this crazy women flat on the ground in her pyjamas photographing daisies and stuff.
 
It was so quiet, pretty, fresh and I really felt better. Way more peaceful.
 
So what do you do?  How do you calm your mind?
 

How fast can your life change or be changed.
Here is the answer
 
                IN AN INSTANT.
 
One second and it can take you in a totally different direction.  You are there at home having your morning coffee and probably asking the children to get dresses and stop using their school socks as weapons of mass destruction when your phone beeps and there is a message – “ taking your dad to the doctor with really bad chest pains, will let you know”
Next. 
​Your dad is going into surgery for a 5 ways bypass, can you imagine how terrifying that is?  Like seriously!  I feel like I lost about four months with all the stress that was packed into those 6 days.  How would you feel if it was one of your parents or loved ones?  And then guess what, the photographs I have of my dad, the value of those images grew beyond treasure.
All thanks to God and to the any many many prayers, my story has a happy ending, they did a triple bypass and he is how at home and is well on his way to full recovery.
 
Don’t wait to have those family photographs updated and printed and kept in your home to treasure for a lifetime.

​Im not sure if you remember from movies or if you remember but women used to always get together and chat we would learn from our moms sisters friends aunts and the community, we would gather at tea parties and everyone would exchange stories and would be this incredible support system, gathered in one room were generations of wisdom and knowledge and the best part, it was face to face…
Now?  We have google, we are son incredibly connected in isolation!  Geez for all we know we could be performing voodoo on our children because it promised a quick fix for colic, it is rather scary to be honest.  How do we filter though it all.  One of my projects is to start a mommy group up where we can bring all these questions to the table and form those long lost bonds again.  Where we get to slow down for an hour or two and bask in the glow of sisterhood…. Meal cooking and baby holding just to give a mom a gap while she takes care of her sick 3 year old and tries to run the home and be a good wife.
Being a women is a superpower all in its own right!!  You are doing a good job, it may not feel like it but you are!
Keep going….. the sun will come out tomorrow  (you are welcome, good luck getting that song out of your head)

​Being a mom in this day and age is anything but easy, with all the links and advice flying at us from every direction all in the effort to “help” us its so freaking hard knowing who to listen too or which way is upright for our children.  Not that many years back all we had were our parents friends and monthly magazines, now, just google nappy rash and it is totally overwhelming.   But never fear I am going to try to help a little here and filter the thousands upon thousands of links and posts to start assisting you as a busy mom.  So to start I will be going over certain topics as we go, to start I found a very interesting article covering the 5 problems with modern day parenting, so I am going to break it down into smaller easier to go through chunks and to see what I can find to make your life easier for you and help you navigate through this crazy thing called being a parent, and in my case being a mom.
 
123 DIVE
You are allowed to actually listen to your children, no they are not going to grow up to be dictators, because listening to them does not mean giving into them.  Its quite a tough one, according to an article in the Huffington Post “ Children are not perceived as real people with real needs, their pinions don’t matter as much as our so they are belittled and ignored. “   take a moment to think what kind of adult that will raise? 
Now before you panic and go buy out Toys R Us to make your babies feel better there are ways to listen to them and to take note of what they say.  Always remember that they are people they have feelings and emotions and we have been given the beautiful job of helping them to learn and develop and grow into remarkable adults. 
 
No matter how “silly” the issue may be, in their little lives that issue could be their version of a life or death situation!
So, here are some ways to listen to your children.
1)Stop what you are doing and look them in the eye, go and sit on the bed or in the lounge or take them for a walk in the garden give them your attention.  Vaughn, my eldest and I have hot chocolate dates in the evenings where we sit on the couch and discuss him and his day and his life.  Ask a few leading questions to get them going.
2)You could even have scheduled dates if you would like to make them feel really important, but just making that 5 or 10 minutes to actually give them your undivided attention is absolute GOLD! 
3)Really listen to them, don’t tease them, don’t laugh (it is hard sometimes, and or unless they are telling you a joke then laugh, even if it isn’t that funny) use eye contact facial expression, mirror them sometimes.
4)Then give them the words to help them express what they are feeling, sad, could meant angry frustrated irritated hurt left out ignored, by helping give them the words, they feel heard and it also increases and develops their emotional intelligence.
5)And then lastly, if you can, help them come up with a solution, if it is an issue.  Or give them  huge squishy hug and laugh with them telling them how amazing and awesome they are ( they have to be they are a piece of you after all)
 
Something that I find so incredible, I am learning all sort just from listening to my boys, by having those chit chat small talk conversations.  And to say that I love it is an understatement of epic proportions.
 
Go have a chat with your child.  And don’t forget the hug, never forget the hug.
 
See you next week and I would love to hear how the week of listening worked out for you?
 

MISS KZN OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPHER
 
How blessed do I feel to have been asked again, to be a part of this beautiful event.  And this pageant is especially beautiful, because of how it is organised and run, Juanita and her team run the entire event from a place of giving back.  Each contestant is encouraged to give back to the community and Juanitas work in the Imfundo Educare Programs is remarkable, the foundations philosophy is to take the children in their informative years, ages 3 to 6 and teach them, nurture them and give them a solid sustainable foundation an so improving the quality of their existence now and in all their years to follow.
 
These pageants are run to raise philanthropists, the title holders are not awarded their crowns to look pretty, along with the title comes the responsibility of using their crowns to raise awareness and to be fully involved in the community, to give back.   Its many hours of hard work that lie ahead of them for the betterment of us as a nation.  We must respect these people, support them and thank them for what they are doing not only for the children in the country but for our futures in the long run.
 
Please visit the Role model’s foundation, support them and their new “poverty sucks” campaign, go to the site for details…. I am not going to give away the secret.  If this post has inspired you to help change little lives, I am sure that Juanita and the foundation will gladly accept.
 
Thank you to you all, for your smiles, and your beautiful hearts.

https://www.facebook.com/RolemodelsFoundation/?pnref=lhc
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