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Ashleigh Wegener Portraits

i hate guilt

20/10/2017

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​I hate guilt, I hate that sick hole that burns right in the middle of your being and you know you should do something about it bus you just don’t know what that something is.
Every day I had to go to work and leave my children with my parents because they were sick, it would eat me from the inside not being able to take them to the doctor, or to have the freedom to attend the sports matches and or sports days….. I hated it.
 
It all needed to change, I had to find a way to be a mother who could be a mother, it was not my boys choice to be in this world, it was not their fault or their decision that their father and I realised that divorce was the only option, so my decision and my goal was and is to be their mother in every possible way that I can.   And that means, being here when they are sick, having the freedom and ability to take them to the doctor.   Being at their sports matches and even being available to sit with them through homework.
 
And now after years and hour upon hour of studying and working and thinking, planning dreaming, working through business programs the opportunity presented itself and now, I am a very proud mom and business women.
 
Now, I schedule my time, and I can do it around my boys, and it feels so incredibly good.  No more of that revolting guilt that literally used to cripple me!
 
And, now, part of my goal starting 2 weeks ago with planning, is to help other moms who find themselves in the same position, to help with create the life they want for themselves and their children.  I can’t think of anything better, a group of likeminded women with their own ambitions and desires working together for themselves, creating unity and team.  Tapping into that fierce drive that comes from being a mom and channelling it, developing it and growing women into the sensational strong gorgeous creations that they were born to be. 
 
I would love to hear from you, so if you have questions or comments, please feel free to email them to me through the contact sheet below. Or leave your comments, I want mothers to soar!

    i would love to hear from you

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AND NOW?

16/10/2017

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​YOUR SCHOOL CAREER IS OVER
YOU ARE FREE
 
It is your time to grab life by the horns and live, take your 14 Years of books and uniforms and learning and push it all into who you want to be
 
How does that feel?  Is it scary? Exciting? 
Do you know what you want to be, now that you have grown up?
Or is it all about testing and playing and trying?
 
And your friends,
Are they going with you on your new adventure or do you have to say temporary goodbyes as you head off to your different colleges or new careers.
I am just thinking wouldn’t it be incredible to have a big girls day event with your girls? Have a day where you all get together, have hair and makeup done, style yourselves up and have images take where you will then have this incredible artwork and album that you can take with you keep with you forever
 
Think of the reunion parties where you will be sipping on wine and killing yourself laughing about that crazy first boyfriend of the crush you had on that dreamy boy who is now, well far from dreamy…. Lucky you dodged that bullet.
 
How amazing would a day like that be?
 
Now is the time to get your girls together and book it, what a divine way to celebrate the end of exams…. Wouldn’t you say?

    PLEASE SEND DETAILS FOR THE GIRLS DAY SESSION

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So as not to kill anyone

14/10/2017

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​I have a question,
 
What do you do to find that little bit of inner peace, that little bit of quiet where you can calm your mind and let the inner you breathe?
 
What is your happy place?  I mean the amount of times I just wish I could RUN AWAY!  Even this morning I am trying to edit and work and the silly computer is just not playing the game!  So what did I do to ensure I didn’t give in to the inner little devil and throw something!!!!
 
I saw my camera……… the bag is open because I have been charging batteries etc for today’s model portfolio session I can’t wait for that actually, it is going to really be a brand new experience.  Back to my point, yes, I saw my camera and grabbed the makro lens and stepped outside, still in my fabulous PJ’s and I took a huge freaking breath! 
 
Now picture it and don’t try to laugh, this crazy women flat on the ground in her pyjamas photographing daisies and stuff.
 
It was so quiet, pretty, fresh and I really felt better. Way more peaceful.
 
So what do you do?  How do you calm your mind?
 
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NO REGRETS

29/8/2017

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How fast can your life change or be changed.
Here is the answer
 
                IN AN INSTANT.
 
One second and it can take you in a totally different direction.  You are there at home having your morning coffee and probably asking the children to get dresses and stop using their school socks as weapons of mass destruction when your phone beeps and there is a message – “ taking your dad to the doctor with really bad chest pains, will let you know”
Next. 
​Your dad is going into surgery for a 5 ways bypass, can you imagine how terrifying that is?  Like seriously!  I feel like I lost about four months with all the stress that was packed into those 6 days.  How would you feel if it was one of your parents or loved ones?  And then guess what, the photographs I have of my dad, the value of those images grew beyond treasure.
All thanks to God and to the any many many prayers, my story has a happy ending, they did a triple bypass and he is how at home and is well on his way to full recovery.
 
Don’t wait to have those family photographs updated and printed and kept in your home to treasure for a lifetime.

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What happened to our support system?

14/7/2017

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​Im not sure if you remember from movies or if you remember but women used to always get together and chat we would learn from our moms sisters friends aunts and the community, we would gather at tea parties and everyone would exchange stories and would be this incredible support system, gathered in one room were generations of wisdom and knowledge and the best part, it was face to face…
Now?  We have google, we are son incredibly connected in isolation!  Geez for all we know we could be performing voodoo on our children because it promised a quick fix for colic, it is rather scary to be honest.  How do we filter though it all.  One of my projects is to start a mommy group up where we can bring all these questions to the table and form those long lost bonds again.  Where we get to slow down for an hour or two and bask in the glow of sisterhood…. Meal cooking and baby holding just to give a mom a gap while she takes care of her sick 3 year old and tries to run the home and be a good wife.
Being a women is a superpower all in its own right!!  You are doing a good job, it may not feel like it but you are!
Keep going….. the sun will come out tomorrow  (you are welcome, good luck getting that song out of your head)
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Dont forget, they are still little

9/7/2017

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​When did the rules change that we now expect children to act like adults, in all honesty I believe children behave better than a lot of adults…
But anyway back to my point, we set these insane standards and expect of little angels to jump through our hoops, no!  they are children, they are not meant to sit still for hours at a fancy adult styled dinner, save those places for your and hubbies date nights. And always expecting them to be in a good mood, never get angry, never get frustrated, or irritated or annoyed, or sad…. Here is a thought when you can do all of that, then you can teach them how too, but until then remember, they are just children.  They get cross if someone tries to take their toy, they are not fans of sharing.  They have not learnt the subtle art of giving someone the cold shoulder because that person forgot to say good morning for instance.   They are children, we need to learn to respect them at the level that they are at.
If you met them at their level, just think of how much easier their little lives would be, and how much less stressful yours would be?

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June 27th, 2017

27/6/2017

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​Being a mom in this day and age is anything but easy, with all the links and advice flying at us from every direction all in the effort to “help” us its so freaking hard knowing who to listen too or which way is upright for our children.  Not that many years back all we had were our parents friends and monthly magazines, now, just google nappy rash and it is totally overwhelming.   But never fear I am going to try to help a little here and filter the thousands upon thousands of links and posts to start assisting you as a busy mom.  So to start I will be going over certain topics as we go, to start I found a very interesting article covering the 5 problems with modern day parenting, so I am going to break it down into smaller easier to go through chunks and to see what I can find to make your life easier for you and help you navigate through this crazy thing called being a parent, and in my case being a mom.
 
123 DIVE
You are allowed to actually listen to your children, no they are not going to grow up to be dictators, because listening to them does not mean giving into them.  Its quite a tough one, according to an article in the Huffington Post “ Children are not perceived as real people with real needs, their pinions don’t matter as much as our so they are belittled and ignored. “   take a moment to think what kind of adult that will raise? 
Now before you panic and go buy out Toys R Us to make your babies feel better there are ways to listen to them and to take note of what they say.  Always remember that they are people they have feelings and emotions and we have been given the beautiful job of helping them to learn and develop and grow into remarkable adults. 
 
No matter how “silly” the issue may be, in their little lives that issue could be their version of a life or death situation!
So, here are some ways to listen to your children.
1)Stop what you are doing and look them in the eye, go and sit on the bed or in the lounge or take them for a walk in the garden give them your attention.  Vaughn, my eldest and I have hot chocolate dates in the evenings where we sit on the couch and discuss him and his day and his life.  Ask a few leading questions to get them going.
2)You could even have scheduled dates if you would like to make them feel really important, but just making that 5 or 10 minutes to actually give them your undivided attention is absolute GOLD! 
3)Really listen to them, don’t tease them, don’t laugh (it is hard sometimes, and or unless they are telling you a joke then laugh, even if it isn’t that funny) use eye contact facial expression, mirror them sometimes.
4)Then give them the words to help them express what they are feeling, sad, could meant angry frustrated irritated hurt left out ignored, by helping give them the words, they feel heard and it also increases and develops their emotional intelligence.
5)And then lastly, if you can, help them come up with a solution, if it is an issue.  Or give them  huge squishy hug and laugh with them telling them how amazing and awesome they are ( they have to be they are a piece of you after all)
 
Something that I find so incredible, I am learning all sort just from listening to my boys, by having those chit chat small talk conversations.  And to say that I love it is an understatement of epic proportions.
 
Go have a chat with your child.  And don’t forget the hug, never forget the hug.
 
See you next week and I would love to hear how the week of listening worked out for you?
 
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Miss KZN Pageant official Photographer

22/4/2017

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MISS KZN OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPHER
 
How blessed do I feel to have been asked again, to be a part of this beautiful event.  And this pageant is especially beautiful, because of how it is organised and run, Juanita and her team run the entire event from a place of giving back.  Each contestant is encouraged to give back to the community and Juanitas work in the Imfundo Educare Programs is remarkable, the foundations philosophy is to take the children in their informative years, ages 3 to 6 and teach them, nurture them and give them a solid sustainable foundation an so improving the quality of their existence now and in all their years to follow.
 
These pageants are run to raise philanthropists, the title holders are not awarded their crowns to look pretty, along with the title comes the responsibility of using their crowns to raise awareness and to be fully involved in the community, to give back.   Its many hours of hard work that lie ahead of them for the betterment of us as a nation.  We must respect these people, support them and thank them for what they are doing not only for the children in the country but for our futures in the long run.
 
Please visit the Role model’s foundation, support them and their new “poverty sucks” campaign, go to the site for details…. I am not going to give away the secret.  If this post has inspired you to help change little lives, I am sure that Juanita and the foundation will gladly accept.
 
Thank you to you all, for your smiles, and your beautiful hearts.

https://www.facebook.com/RolemodelsFoundation/?pnref=lhc
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Adapt or die.... but have fun

4/4/2017

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Baby Boss, a new movie, released in march where a baby is adopted into a family, but he isn’t a baby…..
I photographed my son on Sunday in the most childlike way.
 
How are these related?  I was thinking, we are always telling children to grow up (I tell some adults too, I must admit) and then we get sad and nostalgic when our babies aren’t babies anymore, its depressing when they start to lose that curiosity and wonder, where the bright shiny world starts to become all dull and boring and sometimes scary. 
 
Imagine that instead of turning babies into bosses, I mean think about it they are the boss, we just don’t tell them that they, in fact run our lives.  But instead we turn our “leaders” into children?  Then they would all play together or alone, they would have a fight because Russia wouldn’t share Poland with Nigeria, but everyone would be friends again by nap time.  Things could be fixed with McGyver styles tactics and all the women would believe they are the princesses and queens that they were born to be.
Life would be vibrant with possibility, every moment would be filled with new discovery, made up stuff and adventure, and if we became tired we could lie on the couch and watch Thomas the tank engine.
 
I don’t know, maybe being “childish” isn’t such a bad thing after all, just think of the adult colouring books?  How fun is it to lick out the baking bowl?  Cuddle up on the couch and watch cartoons?  Even Disney knows that we need to bring back childhood, just look at the movies they are producing.
 
Being a child is pure magic!  Don’t lose that, play with your children, it’s good for you, it’s good for them, they will love those moments more than anything, win win win.
 
No go! Go play hide and seek in your blanket fort with the hand drawn sign that says NO GURLZ ULOWD
 

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Holidays! KIds, What am i going to do with them?????

28/3/2017

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What our children want from us….
Life is so insane, our schedules are full up making sure our children have everything and get to do everything and that they are fed properly.  That they attend ballet and soccer, French lessons oh and don’t forget the Italian algebra in Chinese pre varsity course that they need to attend just in case they need it for college.  I’m joking but we so busy being our children’s PA’s that we sometimes forget to be their moms.
 
In a Lifehack blog post that I read, a teacher asked her students, on Mother’s Day, their advice on how to be a great mom.  Take some time and think about your answer, think of it from a mom’s perspective and then think of it from when you were a child…….
 
And?
 
What did you come up with???
 
Guess what!  Al they want is to spend time with you. That is it! 
Just lying on the bed chatting,
Reading them a story
I have a mug of hot chocolate/ cocoa with my son and we chat about life
NEVER underestimate the power of hugs and kisses and telling them how much you love them or how proud you are of them
Taking time out with each child on their own no siblings just quality individual time
Colouring in with them, I mean sheesh! They even have adult colouring in books
Involve them in planning the weekend activities, I am lucky, my boys just want me to play tag with them, (bonus workout session)
Have movie night on the chilly autumn and winter nights where you can eat chocolate and cuddle under blankets and duvets with pillows and fluffy socks.
 
They just want you, they just want time with their mommy.  So when you are madly sorting out their diary and schedule, don’t forget to block out some time for mom.   They will be so happy, and so will you.

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